We are not often fully aware of how we defend in opposition to these existential fears. We might even try to rationalize to ourselves a million reasons we shouldn’t be in the relationship. However, the reasons we give may have workable options, and what’s actually driving us are these deeper fears of loss.
No matter how a lot you’re in love together with your best pal, you will tell your greatest friend to comply with their heart. Even although, you wish to be the person they fall in love with, if their happiness lies in someone else. After all, all you need is to see them pleased. You not see your best pal as that annoying sibling you never had.
Women are more drawn to guys who produce other girls interested in them. You’re attracted to her, you are feeling attractive and also you wish to have her all for your self so you can have intercourse with her, love her and treat her nicely. So, if this woman that you like hasn’t been making an attempt to make any strikes on you in any respect, then it’s unlikely that she desires to do anything greater than take pleasure in a bit of friendly, innocent flirting with you. This particular girl that basically you want may need been flirting with you, been very friendly in the course of you and should have even given you the impression that she likes you or finds you enticing.
The extra we’ve, the extra we’ve to lose. The extra somebody means to us, the more afraid we’re of shedding that individual. When we fall in love, we not only face the fear of shedding our partner, but we turn into more aware of our mortality. Our life now holds more value and meaning, so the thought of dropping it turns into extra horrifying. In an try and cover over this 
concern, we might concentrate on extra superficial concerns, choose fights with our companion or, in excessive instances, utterly hand over the relationship.
You can tell them collectively or individually, whatever feels extra natural — however try to emphasize how excited you would possibly be for this subsequent step. It does not imply you will lose your friendships with them, simply that things shall be slightly totally different any longer. Your friends must be excited to see you content, and it’ll allow you to really feel like a more established couple when you get your love out into the open when you’re prepared. As thrilling as it’s, although, dating your bestie doesn’t at all times come as naturally as you would possibly expect. After all, it’s an enormous change from your former standing as “simply associates.” When you become romantically involved, your relationship is going to be completely different than it was earlier than. And it requires some intentional thought as to how you’re going to make issues work.
